the tanner ba'

Off Topic with WeeFuse: These are not opinions, these are facts.

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It will come as know surprise to a few of you who know me off-line that my nickname in college was “The Instigator.”  I received this title both for my ability to conceive of and mastermind the implementation of dorm-centered pranks as well as my ability to casually toss out a statement that I knew would set people at one another and then sit back and watch the fun.  Today I am going to indulge in the latter vice and the topic, as it often is in this series, will be music.  My popcorn is ready, feel free to futilely refute me in the comments section!

  • The Beatles ceased to be a rock and roll band after the release of Rubber Soul.
  • Nothing Eric Clapton did after Cream was as good as what he did with Cream.
  • The two best male voices in the rock/pop era belonged to Roy Orbison and Sam Cooke.
  • The tree best female voices in the rock/pop era belong to Sinead O’Connor, Imelda May, and…wait for it…Kelly Clarkson.
  • American Hardcore Music = Minor Threat.  It’s really that simple.
  • The greatest rapper?  Rakim.
  • You can be a Christian who plays rock, you can be a Christian who rocks, but “Christian Rock” is not a thing.
  • Johnny Cash was not a country artist, he was Johnny Cash.
  • The Clash are still “the only band that matters.”
  • This is the best rap song you’ve never heard by the best rapper you’ve never heard of.
  • October 16th will mark 40 years (that’s not a typo) since the Rolling Stones released a listenable album.
  • It’s been almost 35 years since Elvis Costello released a listenable album, and I LOVE Elvis Costello.
  • This guy will never be a star- and that’s everything that’s wrong with the music industry.  And everything that’s right.
  • With the exception of the Stooges and the Ramones, there was no worse decade for American Rock and Roll than the 1970s.
  • Curtis Mayfield’s “Superfly” is the best movie soundtrack ever written.  The end.
  • Worthwhile American Jazz is buried the the same grave as Miles Davis.
  • The best “Boston band” ever…was from Cambridge.
  • Generally speaking, more members a band has above three, the worse it gets.
  • Having done this, the Black Keys can do no wrong in my book.  It gets better the louder you turn it up, by the way.
  • Everyone, please, shut up about the Flaming Lips.
  • Be suspicious of anyone using the word, “bluesy.”  They mean this, not this.  There’s a bit of a difference, no?

Finally, I’ve seen James Brown, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Carl Perkins, and Chuck Berry live and I once got to work for the Ramones- your arguments are invalid.  But give it a try anyway!


12 comments on “Off Topic with WeeFuse: These are not opinions, these are facts.

  1. Sculptor?!?
    August 26, 2014

    Heh. In that list, I count nineteen opinions, one directive/request, and one question about an opinion. I count no facts.

    Also, I *know* you. I’m not arguing with you over your opinions. That’d be like arguing with me over mine. 😉

  2. weefuse
    August 26, 2014

    Really? Nobody is going to step up to the challenge? Just proves I’m right about all of this!

  3. Martinovich
    August 26, 2014

    I enjoy Roy Orbison, but I’ve always thought his vocal range was limited. I’ll go with Freddy Mercury in that slot.

    For the ladies, I’ll take Annie Lennox over Kelly.

    Also, the only country music artist alive worthy of carrying Johnny Cash’s luggage, Dwight Yoakim.

  4. weefuse
    August 26, 2014

    Hard to argue with Annie Lennox. As for Freddie Mercury, his voice is probably great but I just loathe Queen so much that I can’t see past it.

    • Martinovich
      August 27, 2014

      I hear you about Queen. I’m a fan and I hate half their stuff.

  5. Kevin
    August 27, 2014

    Totally agree with Martinovich about Dwight Yoakam. Won’t debate it, but I think Outkast, while not technically a rapper, is better.

  6. Andrew
    August 30, 2014

    The Replacements blow Hüsker Dü out of the water
    Mumford and Sons are an affront to all that is good in the world.
    “Since U Been Gone” is the most fun song to sing along to
    Freddy Mercury was the best.

    Opinions that I are more about personal taste than any sort of assertions of quality. YMMV on these
    The Hold Steady are the best band in the world.
    I really enjoy watching Dave Grohl play drums.
    Miley Cyrus is a perfectly acceptable pop singer who makes entertaining music if you disregard all the manufactured BS that she does while not singing.

    Fuse, I assume you’ve read “Our Band Could Be Your Life”. I really enjoyed it. Being born in the 80s, but not an “80s kid”, it was a real eye-opener to learn about what was going on while I was a baby.

    • weefuse
      August 30, 2014

      Your statement about Husker During is the wrongest wrong that was ever wronged.
      You are correct about Mumford & Sons.
      You are correct about Kelly Clarkson.
      Freddy Mercury may have been the best, but his band were the absolute worst.

      The Hold Steady? Didn’t peg you for a hipster.

      Dave Grohl worships Bob Mould- which only makes you more wrong about Husker Du.

      I’m giving Miley a pass until she’s a bit older only because I’ve heard her sing some old country songs and they’ve been legit.

      “Our Band Could Be Your Life” is one of my favorite books of all time. First because I love 80+% of the bands in it, but moreso, because he was the first person to write about these bands who actually “got it,” he really understands why/how they were so important to so many people growing up in the 80’s.

      Let me know if you need some, “Intro to Soul” recommendations!

      • Andrew
        August 30, 2014

        A few more random thoughts:

        “The Grey Album” is both the best Beatles album and best Jay-Z album.
        I don’t listen to nearly enough soul and I should rectify that. (More a defect of character than anything to do with the music.)
        If/When I strike it rich, I’m paying Explosions in the Sky to follow me around and soundtrack my life
        Wilco’s last great album was “YHF”. Their last good one was “Sky Blue Sky”.
        The National are best listened to with a high ball of brown liquor on a drizzly day
        Argument for bands with large numbers of people: The Pogues
        Argument against bands with large numbers of people: Just about everyone else
        “Is This It” is the best debut album of the last 10 years.

  7. weefuse
    August 30, 2014

    Man…auto-correct killed my last reply!

    The Pogues are an excellent, but rare exception to the rule.

  8. weefuse
    August 30, 2014

    See above for my edited reply!

  9. Pingback: 2014: A Year In Review | the tanner ba'

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This entry was posted on August 26, 2014 by in Off Topic, Old School, Random, Site Business.
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