the tanner ba'

The U.S.M.N.T. World Cup 2014 Home Kit



While I’m going to say a few words about this kit I actually think the most appropriate reaction to it would just be a blank page.  I feel like this kit is the sartorial equivalent of looking into the deep and endless void of space- there’s just nothing there, good or bad, just the void.

Here’s the thing:  It’s not terrible, and by being not terrible, it becomes terrible.

If you’re a regular reader of this site you know that I only ask two things of a kit, 1) keep it simple and 2) pick one design element and commit to it.  Let’s see how this kit stands up to those two tests.

1. It is simple- perhaps simple to a fault.  I like that they’ve both refreshed (a brighter rather than a navy blue) and simplified (just red, white, and blue, no more gold border) the crest and that trim on the shirt (and the rest of the kit) echoes this change.  So, while it passes this first test, I feel like it’s done so in a “pass/fail” or “credit/no credit” kind of scenario rather than risking a less than impressing letter grade.

2. Does it pick one design element and commit to it?  No, it does not.  It picks nothing and does nothing with it.  I guess you could get philosophical and say that the kits very nothingness is the “design element” and that as such, it has totally committed to it.  However, if you were to say that I would kick you in the shins.  Hard.

The shorts look like this…


I actually like these- in a vacuum.  Combined with the shirt and socks (not pictured, but also predominantly white), they add nothing to the picture.

Now, I know what you’re saying, “It’s all FIFA’s fault for the new kit rules they’ve put into place for the 2014 World Cup!”  Sorry, but that’s a cop-out.

Where is the “sash” we’ve all loved so much on recent kits?  Where is the oversized, retro crest we’ve all loved so much on recent kits?  The red and white hoops (sorry, I kinda liked those)?  I’d even take the 1994 World Cup “denim stars” kit over this one- love it or hate it, it had visual interest!  Most importantly, where is this:

Alpine Blue?  Yes please!

Alpine Blue? Yes please!


One comment on “The U.S.M.N.T. World Cup 2014 Home Kit

  1. Sculptor?!?
    January 12, 2014

    Tennis, anyone?

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This entry was posted on January 12, 2014 by in Football Shirts, USMNT, World Cup 2014.
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